Ducks pull John Gibson for Walrus after 6 Goals in the 1st by Lucas Weidner

June 25, 2019 – After a devastating 1^st period with the score 6-0 in last night’s game against the Anaheim Ducks and the Washington Capitals, the Duck’s head coach Bob Murray pulled his netminder John Gibson off the ice to be replaced with a backup that had never seen the NHL ice before, a walrus.

Gibson had let in 6 goals on 11 shots, to which the home crowd responded with boos, even throwing bottles and cans on the ice. “I just don’t know what happened there. I wasn’t in the zone I guess,” Gibson responded after the game.

The crowd wasn’t sure what to expect after the buzzer went of to end the 1^st, although the most obvious replacement was Chad Johnson as Ryan Miller was unavailable to play. However, nobody expected a walrus to come bounding onto the ice after intermission and take his position between the posts, though he barely even fit.

The rookie walrus held up great though, not allowing a single goal in after facing 33 shots. The Ducks were able to make a comeback over the next two periods largely because of #33 Jakob Silfverberg, left winger and this year’s leader in terms of goals for Anaheim, who had a hat trick in the game. Ryan Getzlaf (2), Adam Henrique, and Sam Steel also contributed to the comeback in a 7-6 win.

The walrus was unavailable for comment after the game, though Murray stated in a press conference after that he had “one of the best starting games for a tendy ever” and that he was “looking forward to seeing him play more”. There is talk about the walrus getting the Vezina Trophy (awarded to the best goaltender) if he continues to play in more games.

“You literally just can’t get pucks past him,” Murray adds.

New NHL Rule Change Calls for a Penalty for Licking, Brad Marchand to Blame by Lucas Weidner

June 25, 2019 – As the end of the season has come around and the National Hockey League is getting ready for the 2019-2020 season, new rule changes have been announced, among which is a new rule which will give out a 5-minute major penalty for licking.

This new change comes after Boston Bruins left winger Brad Marchand licked many opposing players during games, such as Tampa’s Ryan Callahan among many others. This behavior put Marchand on watch for the season but didn’t account to any rule changes until now.

“He just wouldn’t stop licking the players out there,” said Gary Bettman, Commissioner of the NHL. “We told him to stop, and he just kept on licking.” The rule is aimed to discourage any more incidents of licking, by Marchand or others. “We don’t want this to become a thing,” Bettman adds. “We don’t want to become the National Licking League.”

Callahan, a right winger for the Tampa Bay Lightning recalls the experience. “It was just terrible, completely awful. It was by far the most disgusting thing in my life.” Many others who experienced the same thing voiced the same opinions. “I’m just glad there’s a rule implanted for this.”

First Jackalope Found by Croatian Manby!!! Lucas Weidner

June 25, 2019 – The first ever alive Jackalope has been found by a man from KLJUČAR, Croatia in nearby forests on a routine hunting trip, who has described it as “a large European hare with antlers of a red deer”. The creature has long been rumored to exist, however, before this critical development it has only been seen dead and stuffed, and called a hoax by many.

Josip Kovačević, the man who sighted the animal, was on one of his regular trips to hunt the native red deer of the area, when he heard a rustle in nearby bushes after which an animal he had never encountered before hopped away at a quick pace. As he remembers it, “It hopped away, and I shot at it. It turned back quickly before dashing off. When it did that I saw the antlers.”

Asked by one of our reporters if he could have just mistakenly saw the antlers, or if he misidentified the creature, he answered through his translator by saying “Rabbits don’t have antlers. One does not just see a bunny with antlers.”

This new finding has sparked a huge search for the creature in the area and has also raised speculation about what other rare creatures live in that region. The headof the search group, an American named Jordan Staal said to our Croatian reporters, “Who knows? If a jackalope is in the area, there could be centaurs, or even unicorns. It’s anyone’s guess.”